House-guests left food in the fridge.  After their departure, culling what of it I would eat, I came across a plastic container of Yoplait Light yogurt.

What caught my eye as curious was the shape of the container.  It was slightly conical, narrowing with ascent.  The top had a sharp, inward-facing lip that formed a cruel circumference.  The base was tempered even more than the rest of the container.  I never knew plastic could be so stout.  This little container seemed more like a metal jacket than a place for yogurt.

Reading the stuff on the container, I came across six words in red.  They were written in all capital letters along the bottom, under the bar code, “PROTECT WILDLIFE – CRUSH CUP BEFORE DISPOSAL.”

Now that’s a dilemma.   I’m holding this thing in my hand knowing full well that I cannot crush it.  The base is designed like the deck on a man-o’-war.  I was thinking how it would take a pair of logging boots to crush it, if not a sledgehammer.

Who designed this thing?  And why?  These were the first two questions that popped into my mind.  Not a second later, I had my answer.  A black-hearted sadist.  Who else?

There are many nocturnal animals, feral cats and small dogs who could come across one of these containers.  People are often lazy and toss things from cars.  At parks, the trash bins attract foraging animals.  There are myriad ways that this “plastic titanium” could serve as a torture chamber for the head of a small animal.

I went to the grocery store and looked at other yogurt containers.  Yoplait has the market on animal head-traps.  What kind of freak from hell designed this thing?  Ask Yoplait.  It would be interesting to hear what they have to say.  (Dial toll-free 1-(800)-967-5248, Monday – Friday, 7:30am – 5:30pm, USA Central Time)

Note:  The photograph on their web site is not true to dimensions.  The container is taller and more angular. Here is their web site: http://yoplait.com/products_light.aspx


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