Flying north over the Bay, I saw what looked like a baboon-in-season.  Two scarlet afterburners that weren’t afterburners at all, but rather a distraction device.  They glowed alternately in half-second pulses on a plane that was creeping along at low altitude.  Like a see-saw of red lights where one would expect to see afterburners on a fighter plane.  To me it looked absurd.  The purpose for it was obvious.  Detract attention from departing drones.  Faint albeit, but clearly visible as flying gray cue balls in a pre-dawn sky.

It is laughable what I have seen over the last few months, their decoys.  There has been an assortment of corny, long reaches.  One plane looks like it is carrying a Chinese lantern under its nose, flying at the slowest air-speed and lowest altitude to attract as much attention as possible.  This decoy is to detract from unmanned aerial vehicles (UAV’s) that have peppered the sky since July.   

Come see the corn-balls on parade.  The whole aviation-gone-to-hell charade.  Blazing baboon afterburners.  Aerial ballet helicopters with every strobe they make flashing so brightly that you can see them from Neptune.  What a show.  He even has a spot light designed to intimidate people.  How impressive.  Do tell us Mr. Sparkle Britches, what are you looking for?  Or are you just supposed to look like you’re looking. 

This ridiculous display attracts attention alright.  It shows people how stupid somebody thinks they are.  Recently I noticed how their daily routine ceased for two days during the heavy air traffic to Haiti.  Since all their planes fly a trajectory to Naval Air Station Guantanamo Bay, it would make sense to think that this airport was tied up with humanitarian aid traffic during that time. 

What I would tell the bozo’s who fly this circus every day is that once you get painfully secretive about something and deny that it exists, you attract more attention.  Even more attention than your asinine baboon plane.  In a word — hokey.


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